As my posts have now become viewed by thousands I have found that the average Internet goers are exceptionally vulgar and lacking any empathy at all. They apparently have the inability to sit back and accept another's opinion, or pretend for a moment they are in the authors shoes. I honestly have to sit back and laugh at comments I have read on sites such as Yahoo, The Huffington Post, and many others! People feel entitled behind a screen, they will never get caught, and never have to face a consequence for their words. They feel victorious when they slash the keyboard attempting to bring down the individual that has barred their soul for the world. We seem like weak and vulnerable targets to these over opinionated bullies who have nothing better to do.
Please know I take these 'comments' with a grain of salt, and many of them I don't even read. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, just like I am mine. I have every right to share my thoughts on the life I must endure -- just like they have every right to comment on it. Now before you accept that as an invitation to demolish my existence take a moment to picture yourself in my shoes.
Imagine you are a 23 year old young woman with no life ahead of you. You are attached to a heavy oxygen tank because you cannot breath properly on your own; you feel crushed and suffocated with every breath. Imagine your nauseous at all times, you want to eat food but either it gets lodged in your esophagus, or you vomit wildly like you have food poisoning with even the smallest of bites. Imagine you have a large tube protruding out your stomach that you receive all your nutrition from -- that you can no longer eat. That cheese burger you just saw on the Red Robin commercial will never be yours. You want your favorite salad from Olive Garden. No.
Imagine every six weeks getting a one inch long needle shoved into your chest for chemotherapy. Imagine the 28 prescriptions you take three times a day. Imagine the crushing, solidifying feeling of constant joint pain with every move.
Imagine you are me.
Just five years ago you had your whole life ahead of you, anything was at your finger tips. You had a college scholarship and was ready to follow your dreams, marry your high school sweetheart, have children, buy a house, and live a beautiful life till you were old and gray.
That fantasy is gone, and a harsh reality has taken its place. It was swept away in an instant and your life is over before it ever began. You're told you are going to die, you can never have children, and will lead a miserable, painful existence for the remainder of your days full of doctors appointments, surgeries, infusions, fistfuls of medications, and harsh chemotherapy.
Now that you have a brief understanding of my world, think about your life behind that keyboard. How old are you? How many children do you have? Did you get to attend college? Can you eat? Can you breath? Are you able to work? Can you walk without pain?
These are things I will either never get to participate in, or likely will ever do again. The purpose of this post is not to complain about my life, (as I actually quite adore it) but to give you a better chance at comprehending who you are slamming on the other side of that story.
Now, I invite you to please tell my cannula wearing, feeding tube wielding, chemo-riddin self what you think of me if you still feel 'big and tough' behind that computer screen. I am a strong woman and if a terminal illness doesn't get me down, your words surely will not!
If you have nothing better to do than poke inappropriate, narcissistic comments at a sick young woman who can't defend herself you should probably take this opportunity to do some serious soul searching. That being said...
To learn more about me please visit the "Welcome" and "My Story" tabs located on the top navigational bar. To learn more about Scleroderma please visit the "Sclero-What?" tab.