Some Woman Accessorize With Shoes - I Accessorize With Tubes!

As I walk through a crowded mall it seems like all eyes are on me. There are no coy stares where passerbys quickly blush and divert there attention, but instead long, obvious gawks. Occasional I will make eye contact and smile, attempting to show this innocent bystander that I am in fact here on purpose and did not get lost on the way home from a local hospital.
What these individuals do not realize is that yes, I am ill -- seriously ill but, I am also a 24 year old woman. I still enjoys spending time at MAC Cosmetics picking out the perfect shade of lipstick for fall, or shopping at Nordstrom for a chunky sweater to match my cute new pair of ankle boots. Just because my body is failing me doesn't mean I have to give up on being a young woman. When I am feeling up to it I love to pamper myself and feel beautiful, it becomes such a rare commodity when you are ill.

I think this is what throws observers off the most, seeing an obviously medically frail patient looking like an average person. In their minds severely ill individuals live in hospitals, are over the age of 80, and probably wear nothing but hospital gowns. The reality is anyone can get sick, even a 24 year old fashionista! I am not going to stop being me just because I now have to tote my own personal oxygen supply and food in a bag on my back when I leave the house! I may be attached to medical devices, but I sure as hell will still be rocking my wing tipped eyeliner, trend forward pixie cut, and my favorite pair of Mother Skinny Jeans.

Some individuals feel the need to validate their stares by complimenting me, even though you can tell sending a stranger compliments isn't something they normally do. "I love your hair!" Followed by a large, pity filled smile. While I in no way dislike these complements, as everyone likes to be told their hair looks great, I know these phrases wouldn't be directed at me if I wasn't essentially strapped to life support. So I smile and say thank you, then go about my trip. This particular occurrence will happen about ten more times before I am finished shopping.
Illness doesn't discriminate, it takes the young, the old, and the middle aged. It doesn't care if your male, female, black, white, or purple! While disease changes much about you as a person, it doesn't change your essential being, you are still you. I did not lose the personal traits that make me, me when I was diagnosis, though I did grow and transform as an individual.
I am still Chanel, the witty, impatient, stubborn, charismatic, determined, dynamic person I was before illness struck. The same girl who has always loved to get dressed up for a fancy evening on the town, or spend hours perfecting a new eye shadow technique! The only difference now is I am also a serious illness patient bound to tanks, tubes, and central lines to keep me alive. This isn't leading some sort of double life, this is simply leading a life despite disease. I felt no need to change my style to better suit the "general populations idea of serious illness patients" when I became sick, I just had to learn to work with a few new embellishments. Some woman accessorize with shoes, I accessorize with tubes! 

So next time you see a medically fragile individual out for a day of shopping know that they are still a person who wants to feel satisfaction in their appearance, just like you. They are doing there best to still be "them" regardless of the great struggles they face daily. No need for smiles, compliments, or awkward stares; we are just like any other shopper out for a day of some much deserved retail therapy.